


Carry You

by westallenkiss



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Concerned Alec Lightwood, M/M, Malec, Malec Fluff, Protective Alec Lightwood, cute malec, malec talking, my thoughts, this is seriously so fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 14:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18181685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westallenkiss/pseuds/westallenkiss
Summary: You are not alone.I've been here the whole time singing you a song.I will carry you, I will carry you.I know you can't remember how to shine.Your heart's a bird without the wings to fly. - RuelleAlec is concerned, Alec is protective, Alec is the best boyfriend Magnus Bane could ever ask for.





	Carry You

**Author's Note:**

> so this is is me writing because i'm kind of sad about what magnus said about he needs his magic in order to feel, and feels like a stranger. there was so much hurt in alec's eyes that i went off writing his thoughts and it turned into this story. also this is for @gaysswriter on twitter for suggesting the idea cuddling and talking in bed right after magnus comes back from his little night out enjoying his first drink since getting his magic back. enjoy.

Alec was getting himself ready for bed, waiting for Magnus to return to the Institute. He was unsure if Magnus was even coming back after his night out, which was kind of wondering why he wasn't even invited, but it was okay he did have plans of his own to talk to Lorenzo even if he was told not to. It felt amazing though, Magnus was going to get that apartment back if it was the last thing he would do! There were far too many memories in there for Alec and Magnus to ever think of getting rid of it that quickly. It meant more to Alec than anything, and Magnus should probably know that, if Alec would ever be able to tell him the truth. 

Magnus came back through his portal right into Alec's room, it scaring him and his thoughts as he was just about to climb into bed. "Still not used to it huh?" Magnus snickered trying to forget the fact that his nose was just bleeding and he had a pounding headache.

"I was never used to it." Alec said softly, reaching for him though, "I can finally have you in bed with me to cuddle though yes?" He raised an eyebrow seriously needing his boyfriend right now. Magnus could not all resist that face or Alec's bambi brown eyes looking at him that. 

"The pleasure is all mine, Alexander." Magnus crawled himself up to Alec and settled into his bed with him. "I'm going to be living here for a bit aren't I?" He poked his side softly as Alec was adjusting in his arms to drape one arm around Magnus' waist and nuzzle into his neck just breathing him in and being so so in love with his warm body -- it was warmer than usual, in fact he was burning up. 

Alec peered out of his neck to look at him for a moment, "Are you okay?"

"Couldn't be better." Magnus said softly, yes lying, trying so hard to avoid the pounding headache. 

"I know when you're lying Magnus, you're burning up. I think you have a fever..." Alec went to put his hand on his head, "You're not okay." He frowned, getting out of bed quickly grabbing some Tylenol for him. "Take this." He handed him the water and medicine.

Magnus couldn't help but obey him, feeling like he'd do anything to please Alec and to get rid of this headache. There was a first time for everything because whenever he didn't feel good, he just used his magic to speed things up and make it all better but seemingly his magic wasn't exactly doing that job at the moment. He knew this was a huge mistake -- all of it but he was not going to admit that to anyone. "Thank you, now stop worrying and get back into bed." Magnus swallowed the pills and patted Alec's spot on the bed, "I don't need you to worry about me." 

"I'm going to worry, Magnus. I'm going to worry every single second. This whole trade doesn't sit right with me." Alec answered him getting back into bed and pulled Magnus back into his arms, holding him tightly and gently running his fingers over his side instantly. "I spoke to Lorenzo," Alec said nonchalantly not meaning for it to come out like it did but it just did. 

"Alexander, I told you I'm fine. The apartment is nothing, I don't need it. I have you, I have my magic. Nothing else matters." Magnus sighed loudly as he spoke turning himself to face his boyfriend and just try to force a smile.

"Something just doesn't feel right, you might have your magic, and yeah, you'll always have me... but he knew there would be consequences to this...it's not your magic...it's not blue...it's yellow...it's... it isn't you." Alec tried to explain looking to Magnus right back with the same kind of frown. 

Magnus took a deep breath, somehow his head was starting to feel a bit better already, "Alexander." He said softly just leaning forward and gently pressing a kiss to his lips before he settled against his pillow. "I promise, I will be okay. I just want to hold you, look at you, and fall in love with you over and over again tonight if that's okay?" Magnus continued softly as he reached to take his hand bring it up between their hearts as they laid to look at each other. 

Alec couldn't help but smile, his body almost trembling at Magnus' words. "There is nothing I could ever need more..." Alec murmured, moving in even closer and tangling his leg up with Magnus. "I think I just sometimes need to know _why_ me, why did you you risk it all for me?" He started to question thoughts in his head out loud, not meaning to but they just became word vomit. "You just kept flirting with me, you didn't even know me..."

"Alexander, shhhh, stop. Listen to me... and you've heard this before too... you just allowed me to open my heart up... there was something about you that hooked me, the way you took control of the situation, the way you played hard to get... _you know I love a challenge..._ and then the second we locked eyes... Alexander, I had to have you. It wasn't magic. It wasn't anything but your soul, your soul connecting with mine..." Magnus explained softly, his voice just above a whisper holding to Alec for dear life now that they were both shaking for two different reasons. "I fell completely in love with your soul, I knew right then and there that if we didn't end up together...I would not be who I am now, and sure I said I need my magic in order to live and be me, but I also need you... I need you because you were are that missing piece in my heart that I lost a long time ago. I even tried to give you up, Alexander, I really did think I was doing the right thing - for the both us - but it turns out - _I can't do anything without thinking of you_ , needing you, and I just want to be able to feel like I belong, I would give up my magic again if I have to if it means losing you... maybe I should have been a little clearer..." 

Alec swallowed, his eyes watering but he wasn't going to let a tear fall down as he sucked in a breath, "When I said, _I don't think I can live without you_ that night, I meant that... I was just never aware how I truly made me feel until you broke up with me, and I was never even sure if that was even a real break up, all I knew was that if I didn't have you back, my life would never be the same... I just always thought it was some kind of spell you put on me... but it really isn't... you really love me... you do... I just..." Alec stopped trying to speak, trying to get out the words he never realized he ever had to say...he never wanted to have to have this conversation. But maybe it was a good thing they were.

"Again, Alexander... there was never any kind of spell that I put on you. I had to fight for you, I had to make you see that you wanted me too, and you did that all on your own. You kissed me, let's not forget that, and let's not forget how you took control of the entire kiss... you made me chase after you... you did that, Alexander... you did." Magnus was raising his voice just slightly inching forward as Alec was damn near smirking now. "See... there you go. There is that confident Alexander Lightwood Head Of The New York Institute that I am in love with." Magnus smirked as he realized his headache had gone away and his fever broke. Maybe he didn't magic to feel, maybe he just needed Alexander. 

"Magnus, I love you so much." Alec breathed out, moving forward and just kissing him with everything he had until they couldn't breath, literally. Panting from just a kiss was exactly what they both needed. The sparks were all real, no magic whatsoever, just irrevocable love. "If there is one thing I learned from kissing you, it's that I will never ever be able to get over how you taste, and how addicted I am to you. I can't live without you, Magnus."

"Shhh, Alexander." Magnus put a finger to his lip, letting it that pouty bottom lip of his. "I promise you'll never ever have to know what is like not to have me, I need you just the same." Magnus promised, realizing this was all he really ever would need in his life. If he lost his magic again, which he was in fear that he just might, it didn't matter if he had his Alexander. He really didn't know what was going to happen or what Alec even had said to Lorenzo because they seemed to both get off topic, but it was one of the best conversations they had ever had together. Magnus felt a peace as his eyes closed against Alec. 

Alec could see he was tired, and it was actually a first time seeing Magnus be the one to fall asleep first, "I love you, Mags." Alec whispered wrapping his entire body around his boyfriend, holding him so tightly and Magnus even in his soft slumber was fully moving into his body enveloping in him, feeling completely safe knowing he was loved by Alec...

With morning coming even quicker than Alec even knew, the first one up this time, he thought to himself, why not get out of bed and recreate what Magnus did for him a few days ago. He smiled to himself softly, pressing a gentle kiss to Magnus' nose before gently peeling himself away from his warm body, and slowly getting out bed as hard as it was. Alec looked back to make sure Magnus didn't wake up, and he only instead stirred a little sprawling himself out reaching for Alec's pillow instead thinking in his slumber it was his Alexander. Magnus softly whimpered hugging the pillow softly and gently started snoring himself back to sleep. "And you said I snored." Alec snorted a bit to himself, with a smirk and left his room, he didn't have to go far, just to the kitchen to grab some orange juice, and pick some flowers outside to place into a little vase so he could wake up his boyfriend just like he was woken up. When he came back, Magnus was still in the same position and everything just felt right in the world, he wanted to have this every morning in his bed for the rest of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> and doneeee. i hope it was okay/good/and if it was bad. i am so sorry. i always feel like i can do and say more, but i want to do them justice. i want you to hear their voices in your head when you're reading, so i really hope i have captured that and i am sorry if i didn't. again these are my thoughts about the whole magic thing was well so sorry if it isn't what you think if you're reading and not agreeing.


End file.
